How Sarah Palin Ends the World

SOOO much has happened in this big old world since the beginning of the year! Fish have died, along with a big old bunch of black birds. Every time I think about that, I hear, "Four and twenty blackbirds baked in pie." I spent an entire day in tears thinking about the death of nine year old Christina Taylor Greene, in Arizona.

I'm surprised they didn't find a way to blame the deaths of those birds on Sarah Palin. It seems the talk show host has taken over the Devil's role in all that is unholy (otherwise known as the former president, George W. Bush), we'll next be hearing that she personally drilled the hole in the ozone.

I'm no Palin fan. Actually, she kind of freaks me out. I'm not stupid enough to confuse the Saturday Night Live sketches with the real person, (You know she didn't say she could see Russia from her house, right? That was Tina Fey, people!) But there's something about that woman that just gets to me!

Oh, yeah, I know what it is. People just won't stop talking about her. And blaming her for crap. She's an effing talk show host. Not God.

I'm a hundred percent sure God is NOT that irritating.

And then, for ten straight hours, I was a CAPRICORN. Having spent !AHEM! odd years as a free thinking Aquarius, I enjoyed my brief stint as a stable, grounded Capricorn, only to find out that science was toying with my emotions and that I'm to spend the rest of my life completely and totally flighty. Regardless of the earth's wobbling.

I'm okay with that.

What a year. And it's only two weeks in. Where's it going to go from here?

I think I know!

Are you ready? Here we go!

We will see rampant gun legislation enacted in the United States. Considering all the law abiding citizens will have to turn in the guns to our ever so competent and trustworthy government, the criminal population will be very well armed within five days, due to a series of "unintended consequences." From there, it will only be a matter of time before the rampant criminal population causes the deaths of much of the population, as well as even more birds and fish. People will be so confused by their new astrological signs, they'll have no idea how to behave. Civil war will ensue, the world will subsequently end, just in time to fulfill the oft-misinterpreted Mayan 2012 world ending prophecies, complete with all man made creations coming to life, and killing those of us that didn't die from the gunslingers.

And guess what? It will be Sarah Palin's fault. True story.

Or maybe we could just leave the 2nd Amendment alone. It's there for a reason. And we can blame something else on Sarah tomorrow. I've got a feeling she's not going anywhere.

Dear Media, Please use some freaking common sense.

Westboro Baptist Church is picketing the funerals of Arizona's fallen. Including the nine year old Christina, shot dead on Saturday at the hands of a madman.

I know an awful lot about this particular piece. I know the shooter's name, I know that he was horribly mentally ill, I know that Christina's parents are some really strong people, and I know that Fred Phelps is happy about the shootings.

I don't know what, say, Michelle Obama would say about it. Or my local representatives. I don't know if there's a charity being set up for Christina's family, or anything humane like that.

I know how Fred Phelps feels about the shootings.

Why do I know about that? Because it's EFFING EVERYWHERE!!!!

People, please. We all know Fred Phelps is an effing disgusting pig. We know. We really do. That having been said, stop giving him his fifteen minutes. Please. For the love of God. Stop spreading his message for him.

Because that's really, really, really what you are doing every time you post a "Westboro-Baptist-Church-hit-a-new-low-I'm-so-outraged" piece.

If you are really mad, do something about it that really counts. Write your representatives. Join the Angels. But please, for the love of all that is holy, don't give that man another day in the sun.

Get YOUR skin in the game, Michelle!

Few things astound me anymore, but when I heard about the taxpayer bill for Michelle's latest escapade, I wanted to be sick. I'm tired of the hypocrisy in the White House. Tired of buying bottled water for bureaucrats while I consider counting the gallons of water I'm going to have to pay for at my new house. Tired of paying for catered lunches while my kids eat pb and j on homemade bread because it's cheaper.

Now, evidently I'm expected to foot the bill for our first Lady to go on a spending blitz in Spain, while the country struggles around me. What. The. Hell. How does she get two hundred and fifty thousand dollars of taxpayer money to go take a breather? What idiot set this up?

I know, the same people that made the ridiculous pensions for Congress, and the benefits, and said that they'll have Waygu beef on our dime.

Somebody has got to do something about this. We just borrowed money from China to send the first Lady to Spain.

The blogger that compared her to Marie Antoinette had it right. Maybe she should take some advice from her husband, and get some skin in the game.

Why the NAACP and liberals everywhere should shut the hell up

Racist.

I'm tired of the word. I'm tired of being called it for not liking the president. I wouldn't like this president if he were the cookie monster, and I LOVE the cookie monster.

This whole NAACP/TEA party debacle has me marginally annoyed. Ok, not the NAACP so much, it's the liberal bloggers circling like so many vultures. You expect it from the NAACP. Anyone who still refers to African Americans as colored people (hint: it's in the name) in a business sense clearly doesn't have a whole lot of brains to begin with.

The TEA party, it's argued, should expel the racists from their ranks. Please, by all means, dear libbies, you first. Perhaps you should start by ejecting Vice President Joe Biden from your ranks, and then possibly follow him up by Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.. After that perhaps you'll be so kind as to out Former First Lady, Former Presidential candidate, and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. Of course many would even argue that President Barack Obama is a racist, but we won't talk about THAT. It's yesterday's news.

You know what? Right about now, throwing out every racist member of a party is sounding pretty darn good. Come on, liberals, you first!

If that weren't enough, though, it's like the democrats forgot the history of their own party.

The Democrats, not the Republicans, spent a good portion of our history attempting to keep the black man down. This is what's real. It was a Republican who drafted anti lynching legislation, and democrats filibustered it. It was a republican that ended slavery.

It was a Republican President who desegregated Arkansas schools. The list goes on.
Ok, so let me get this straight. The libs are mad because some idiot held up a tacky sign in the name of the tea party.

I'm mad that the democrats held up the entire process of civil rights.

Or maybe we should agree that one bad apple doesn't spoil the bunch.

What do you think?

Political News I'm Loving.

     I really thought I was going to have to wait till November to have a happy political moment. Obama makes me crazy, Congress makes me sick, and the inability to keep a budget on either side makes me... quasi-violent. I mean, I stick to a budget every week. And there are shoes... and clothes... and things... that we want. Things that are a good idea, and would be nice to have. Do I buy them? NO! Why? Because we can't afford it! Why is this so hard for a bunch of politicians to wrap their head around.*grrr

    
    Well, back to my happy moment. A Court ruled that DOMA is unConstitutional Well, Duh. The best part? The extra-special-sweet-whipped-cream-with-a-cherry-on-top part? It's unConstitutional because it violates Article 10-states rights. *sigh. I couldn't be happier right now if I had a calorie free triple hot fudge peanut butter ice cream sundae the size of my head sitting in front of me. Why do people think they have a say in who marries who? If you don't like gay marriage, then don't have a gay marriage! It seems pretty simple to me!

    
     Think about the ramifications of this... just bask for a moment. Roe V Wade? Obamacare? Where do they fall on infringement? I'd say they not only infringe, they flat out jump up and down and do the hokey pokey on states rights. I mean, where does Congress get off telling every citizen they have to have health insurance? It's nothing more than a power grab. A huge, double fisted slimy snake oil salesman power grab. Who does this wonderful bill help? At best, 30 million people. (and that's using Congress's very special funny make-us-look-like-we-know-what-we're-doing math.)And state's rights? What are those? We ain't heard of no stinkin state's rights here!

     Ok, judges everywhere, this decision is now your gold standard. Look at the purity of the Constitution as it was written, and for crying out loud, base your decisions on the law, and not your personal experiences, no matter how "wise" they make you. You were elected to uphold the Constitution, not make things up as you go along.

    
Please, please, let this be the beginning of us taking back our liberty. The end of the Congressional power grab. The end of them trying to tell us what to eat, what to wear, whether or not we can buy used products, and who we can marry. It amazes me how much of our freedom has been chipped away slowly throughout the years. How many people support nanny laws based on the idea that people don't know how to take care of themselves.

    
Speak for yourself. I can take care of myself and my children just fine, thank you.

photobucket photo by mulpics

A Letter to the White House

Dear Mr. President,

I am no one. I don't have any outstanding accomplishments to tell you that I am qualified to judge your work. Come November, 2010, I am but one vote against the corruption long sustained in Washington. Yes, I am angry. Yes, I sent you tea wrappers. Several times. There would have been some lovely tea in them for you to drink, but you're office was kind enough to say they'd refuse the tea, based on the Whitehouse's policy on food for gifts. Thank you for allowing me to make my point and keep the tea.

Unlike most conservatives, I had a moment after the election where I thought change might be good. I thought, perhaps, you might take steps to legalize gay marriage, or step back the patriot act a bit. I thought, maybe, I'm jumping the gun in my dislike of the guy. Maybe he can patch up the holes in NCLB. Maybe a fresh start is what we need.

Well, you did bring change. You had the largest inauguration in the history of the US to celebrate your ascension to the highest position of power in the world. That should have been a warning to the American people, but it wasn't. Then, you served sixty dollar a pound steaks at the expense of taxpayers, many of whom are struggling to afford food at all. It has become apparent that you think the American people have elected you to enjoy a four year party and golf outing.

And yet, you seem to enjoy an odd kind of teflon status. Your predecessor received word of Katrina, while reading a book to grade school children. He paused, finished the book, and went to work. That pause made history. It was several minutes at best, and yet it was proof positive to millions of Americans that George Bush didn't care.

Now, oil is streaming into the gulf of Mexico. The environment that you claimed to care about is flooding with oil. Birds and turtles are dying. Tar balls are washing up on the shores of Texas. Other countries have been offering their help since moments after the story broke. And you went golfing.

Your administration has blocked reporters from photographing the damage faced by fellow Americans, and stopped Lousiana from cleaning oil soaked waters. I don't understand how this is not a bigger deal for you. If your predecessor had done this, PETA would have been protesting the White House in droves. The environmental groups would have been screaming for days. And yet, it appears that American interest in the oil spill is waning. Your rule is working. Out of sight, out of mind, right?

I am writing this, not so much to you, Mr. President, but in the hopes I can remind even a few fellow Americans of your callous lack of regard for the environment you claim to care so much about. As a manager I never would have take a vacation while my restaurant was burning down, and yet that it exactly what you have done, not once, but several times.

This morning, I read that sand is being artificially moved to beaches to appease tourists and cover oil on the beach. Your administration is much more concerned with conceiling the damage than remedying it.

I don't know how you sleep at night. And I don't particularly care. I do hope, that you stop waiting for the EPA to give you a go ahead, admit that you don't know what you are doing, and let one of the other countries step in and fix this mess.

Mr. President, you can point the finger at BP, even though your administration failed to inspect the apparatus several times in the last year, and we will agree with you. However, it is now YOUR JOB to fix this mess. To me, this is your Katrina. You have failed the American people, the environment, and those little turtles you claim to care so much about.

Please, step aside and let someone who knows what they are doing fix this mess. You don't.

Thank you for your time,
Heather