How Sarah Palin Ends the World

SOOO much has happened in this big old world since the beginning of the year! Fish have died, along with a big old bunch of black birds. Every time I think about that, I hear, "Four and twenty blackbirds baked in pie." I spent an entire day in tears thinking about the death of nine year old Christina Taylor Greene, in Arizona.

I'm surprised they didn't find a way to blame the deaths of those birds on Sarah Palin. It seems the talk show host has taken over the Devil's role in all that is unholy (otherwise known as the former president, George W. Bush), we'll next be hearing that she personally drilled the hole in the ozone.

I'm no Palin fan. Actually, she kind of freaks me out. I'm not stupid enough to confuse the Saturday Night Live sketches with the real person, (You know she didn't say she could see Russia from her house, right? That was Tina Fey, people!) But there's something about that woman that just gets to me!

Oh, yeah, I know what it is. People just won't stop talking about her. And blaming her for crap. She's an effing talk show host. Not God.

I'm a hundred percent sure God is NOT that irritating.

And then, for ten straight hours, I was a CAPRICORN. Having spent !AHEM! odd years as a free thinking Aquarius, I enjoyed my brief stint as a stable, grounded Capricorn, only to find out that science was toying with my emotions and that I'm to spend the rest of my life completely and totally flighty. Regardless of the earth's wobbling.

I'm okay with that.

What a year. And it's only two weeks in. Where's it going to go from here?

I think I know!

Are you ready? Here we go!

We will see rampant gun legislation enacted in the United States. Considering all the law abiding citizens will have to turn in the guns to our ever so competent and trustworthy government, the criminal population will be very well armed within five days, due to a series of "unintended consequences." From there, it will only be a matter of time before the rampant criminal population causes the deaths of much of the population, as well as even more birds and fish. People will be so confused by their new astrological signs, they'll have no idea how to behave. Civil war will ensue, the world will subsequently end, just in time to fulfill the oft-misinterpreted Mayan 2012 world ending prophecies, complete with all man made creations coming to life, and killing those of us that didn't die from the gunslingers.

And guess what? It will be Sarah Palin's fault. True story.

Or maybe we could just leave the 2nd Amendment alone. It's there for a reason. And we can blame something else on Sarah tomorrow. I've got a feeling she's not going anywhere.