Friday, January 14, 2011

How Sarah Palin Ends the World

SOOO much has happened in this big old world since the beginning of the year! Fish have died, along with a big old bunch of black birds. Every time I think about that, I hear, "Four and twenty blackbirds baked in pie." I spent an entire day in tears thinking about the death of nine year old Christina Taylor Greene, in Arizona.

I'm surprised they didn't find a way to blame the deaths of those birds on Sarah Palin. It seems the talk show host has taken over the Devil's role in all that is unholy (otherwise known as the former president, George W. Bush), we'll next be hearing that she personally drilled the hole in the ozone.

I'm no Palin fan. Actually, she kind of freaks me out. I'm not stupid enough to confuse the Saturday Night Live sketches with the real person, (You know she didn't say she could see Russia from her house, right? That was Tina Fey, people!) But there's something about that woman that just gets to me!

Oh, yeah, I know what it is. People just won't stop talking about her. And blaming her for crap. She's an effing talk show host. Not God.

I'm a hundred percent sure God is NOT that irritating.

And then, for ten straight hours, I was a CAPRICORN. Having spent !AHEM! odd years as a free thinking Aquarius, I enjoyed my brief stint as a stable, grounded Capricorn, only to find out that science was toying with my emotions and that I'm to spend the rest of my life completely and totally flighty. Regardless of the earth's wobbling.

I'm okay with that.

What a year. And it's only two weeks in. Where's it going to go from here?

I think I know!

Are you ready? Here we go!

We will see rampant gun legislation enacted in the United States. Considering all the law abiding citizens will have to turn in the guns to our ever so competent and trustworthy government, the criminal population will be very well armed within five days, due to a series of "unintended consequences." From there, it will only be a matter of time before the rampant criminal population causes the deaths of much of the population, as well as even more birds and fish. People will be so confused by their new astrological signs, they'll have no idea how to behave. Civil war will ensue, the world will subsequently end, just in time to fulfill the oft-misinterpreted Mayan 2012 world ending prophecies, complete with all man made creations coming to life, and killing those of us that didn't die from the gunslingers.

And guess what? It will be Sarah Palin's fault. True story.

Or maybe we could just leave the 2nd Amendment alone. It's there for a reason. And we can blame something else on Sarah tomorrow. I've got a feeling she's not going anywhere.

12 comments:

April said...

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Lots of Fun with My FaMiLy said...

I now have to ask When is your birthday ?
Because I too was a capricorn for a day lol...when I know for a fact I am an Aquarius through & through ...February 7th is my day (I'll have to get a hold of Sarah Palin and see if she can make it some kind of holiday or something lol)

lovinangels said...

LOL! My birthday is January 30th! I don't think Sarah could make a holiday for you, though, her powers are only for evil. ;)

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Clayton said...

Heather... uuuh WTF are you gong on about the change of astrological signs.. I'm Aquarius (Jan 28) and have been for 32yrs... not afraid to say it... chicken...By the way folks heather is 42 (tee hee hee)... Anyway I'm not for a second gonna change my sign... not that I care about astrology or the signs ... or for that matter even know what being an Aquarius isball about..But Damn it I'm not changin

lovinangels said...

LOL-Clay, for like ten hours yesterday, the entire world was freaking out because something wobbled, and the moon pulled the earth into a different sun sign, and (more scientific garbage) suddenly there are 13 signs, and almost everyone moved.

Then someone else, who was not at all scientific said it was a bunch of malarkey. And that's the person they are going with, because he's an actual astrologer, and evidently astronomy doesn't have a whole hell of a lot to do with astrology.

I'm just glad I didn't tattoo the kid's signs on them at birth...

Clayton said...

Pheew ... for a minute I thought I would have to be a Capricorn .... my brother is a Capricorn ...and he's an @$$hole...got nervous for a minute

Clayton said...

PS... This is the first blog I have ever taken the time to read...LOVE IT..

Clayton said...

Don't know if that means anything considering the source ;)

lovinangels said...

Awww...sniff sniff...it means tons! I'm all glowy now.

In a happy way. Not a knocked up way.

Clayton said...

You know me too well and took my retort ammunition .... thanks.. I'm sure you'll leave yourself open in the future...