Sunday, March 27, 2011

The Nursing Stand-Off

I'm on my final child, people.

She's 21 months old. By all rights, a little girl, not a baby. She's sweet, stubborn, bad-tempered, loud mouthed, pushy, aggressive, wild, controlling.

So, basically, she's me. Only short and blond.

I'm DONE with nursing. Honestly, I just want to STOP. I've been either pregnant or breastfeeding for the better part of five years, and to be frank, I want my body back. I'd like to be able to get my other two wisdom teeth out, which give me a headache almost every day. I'd like to be able to have a second glass of wine without feeling guilty, to be able to skip a meal I don't want without worrying about ketones.

I'd like to be able to sit on the couch without being used as a fountain.

The problem is, we're too much alike. As much as I've decided she's done, she's decided to ramp up milk production by increasing demand.

Yes, that means every time I try to cut a feeding, she adds two more to make up for it. It's so bad, people, that I was scrubbing my kitchen floor at nine o'clock last night in the pitch black in an effort to do ANYTHING but sit down, where she could get me, crying "hug" and "nyuk a nyuk" and wiggling her hands piteously at me.

It would seem we are at an impasse.

I just want to be done with this part. She doesn't. Yes, I'm irritable and whiny and spoiled. I know. I know!

But seriously, 21 months was a good run, right?

Oh no, here she comes. Guess I'd better go find something to do, STAT.



Suze said...

Just stopping by to vote :) Look like we are dealing with the same girl, except mine is 20lbs of sassy, bossy and rolling of the eyes pure punk attitude and she just turn 18 months!

Michelle said...

A very good run indeed! I'm impressed she still wants to do it. My last one gave up around 14 months and I was sad. I understand you wanting your body back! Good Luck!

Angela said...

I don't know how you lasted 21 months. I could barely do the 13 I did!

I have decided to award you the Stylish Blogger award. Check out my page to accept.

Carol said...

Not only is she like you, she is like her father. Sorry, your MIL

This Lil Piglet said...

Hahahaha, I don't mean to laugh but this is quite the funny post; I also have a stubborn child(actually 2 but ones much older). I can understand how you want your body back; kudos to you for bfing as long as you have. I only lasted 6 months each with my 4 because I had to go back to work with Mr Man, got pregnant again when Miss Priss was 6 months, the third Squeakers I was just done(my body just wasn't healthy after 3 kids in 4 years) and with this one, I cart my other 3 kiddos around so much I was just too busy and lost my milk :( I wish I could've nursed longer and was especially sad when I was done nursing my last baby but there is no way I could've done it as long as you. You are awesome! Good luck hiding out from your mini-me. :)

If you're looking for a funny read, I posted an article about my Miss Priss becoming a lady...preteens, ack!

Romina Garcia said...

I have complete sympathy for you. I've had four kids in under five years and the need to regain control of your own body is palpable.
Unfortunately I have no advice for breastfeeding. I never made it past the 6 month stage. Hopefully you get some peace very soon x

Crystal said...

I totally understand! I had to quit my eldest daughter cold turkey! My baby is now 22 months old and still takes her bottle! Every time I want to get rid of it, I always find an excuse! They're powerfully persuassive little things!
New follower and would love if you would drop by and become a new friend!

erin.patrice said...

following! Cute blog!

Sonja said...

I'm your newest follower. Would love a follow back at

Anonymous said...

If you figure it out, I'm curious...I'm trying to wean an almost 3-year old that'll have nothing to do with it!

XLMIC said...

Ahahhahahaha! I totally hear you! I am so lucky mine is allowing me to hang out with just 3x a day. Some days I can even wiggle out of one or 2 of them and only do one or 2! My girl is newly 2 years old. I have been nursing since 1999. Really. I think I am ready to be done, but I kind of wonder if I'll know what to do with myself :P Good luck!

Natalie said...

Thank you so much for stopping by my blog! I am your newest follower! I can't wait to spend more time reading your posts!! :)

ardig said...

Found you on the blog hop...I am your newest follower cannot wait to read more! I hope you will follow me back :)