Saturday, June 25, 2011

Tampon Rockets and why you should be nice to the couponer in front of you.

8) She's employing more people than you are with her transaction. That's right, when you whip out your cash, you're only giving the cashier a job. Coupons take many more people to process. Woohoo! for the economy.

8) $150 in coupons stimulates the economy just the same way $150 in cash does, and takes just as much work to produce. Chances are the lady in front of you worked for several hours on her transaction- no different than you going to work and receiving cash. Those are jobs for people.

7) She's not running to the grocery store when there's a storm. When everyone else has to take off running to the local megamart to stock up on bread and milk, SuperCouponer whips open her freezer door.

6) Chances are, if you need to borrow a cup of sugar, flour, pound of pasta, bar of soap, razor, dish detergent, or an arm, your friendly neighborhood couponer can come to your rescue. You're welcome.

5) It's very likely that she's not just cheap. Food is expensive, gas prices are intense, and the kids are home for the summer, and they are BORED. Couponing is a great way to have it all, sans taxpayer-funded assistance. Would you rather wait behind a SuperCouponer with a stack of discounts, or pay her electric bill via Uncle Sam? It's up to you.

4) It's a lot of work to make a hundred and fifty dollar order come down to forty. Instead of rolling your eyes, how about watching in awe and learning a thing or two?

3) She's probably just as frustrated by how long this takes as you are. Most of us don't live for the moments when our checkouts take longer than the actual shopping. I know I don't. It takes every bit of my REALLY LONG FUSE to be patient with a slow cashier, especially when I've laid things out as simply as possible. Today's cashier called the manager THREE TIMES even though the manager had come to approve my coupons as soon as I got into line. So frustrating, and yet, having watched Extreme Couponers (for free on the internet, of course) I understand why. Stop committing fraud, people.

2) She actually does NEED all twelve boxes of tampons. You see, tampons make kick ass rockets for any child who manages five minutes unsupervised in the bathroom. These are far better than any toy in any department store. You see fourteen tubes of free toothpaste and are disgusted: SuperCouponer's children see free fingerpaint for all the walls in the bathroom. You wouldn't want to disappoint the kids, would you?

1) The Zombie Apocalypse is on its way. Be nice to the SuperCouponer and maybe she'll share her stock of personal hygiene products, first aid supplies, and medicines with you when the world is crumbling and no one is producing shampoo anymore and you smell like dead animal. Oh, yeah, and she's probably got chocolate.


Please note: the term Super Couponer replaces extreme couponer. Super Couponers are ethical, follow store rules, are polite, don't clear shelves, and don't do fourteen transactions in one sitting while holding up a line of people.


Suze said...

I am always amaze by people who manage to be really good at couponing:) Way to go!

Jen said...

I love this post! And I really like the term "Super Couponer". Tampon rockets...still giggling about that one!

Reasonably Less said...

Very Interesting, Love it! Your newest follower from Social Moms. Nice site, I will be sure to come back to visit!

“Mommy freebies, coupons and Advice on using coupons”

Mrs. Tuna said...

I'm starting to go through menopause, I have a giant box of maxipads I could let you have cheap.

Kimberly said...

Great blog! Came across your blog from one of the blog hops, and looking forward to reading more of your stuff. I am now following... feel free to follow back if you like!!!!
Stop by my blog to participate in my weekend 6 in 1 blog hop.
All the best,
A Spicy Boy, A Cat, and My Fat Ass