Saturday, April 9, 2011

Really, When Do You Shower?

I've got a lot of babies. I think three is a lot. They out number me, that's for sure, and when the add the damn dog into their shenanigans my defeat is all but certain. They're small, fearless, destructive, sweet, and I wouldn't change a thing.

Except for the fact that I look like a train wreck most days. I can't reasonably figure out a system to complete the entire getting ready process in one sitting without actually having one child murder another. Since I'm kind of partial to them all, it's not really an option, but if I were a betting kind of girl, my money would be on the small one. I'm a total cliche-the mom with the hair in the proverbial ponytail- usually covered in some little person's extraneous body fluids.

Bathing is the one thing that's really hard to accomplish. Today, I brought some toys up to their room, gated it, drew a bath, rearranged the furniture in a way that I thought they couldn't climb it, and then shouted orders down the hallway as I shaved my legs. "Don't hurt your sister! Leave her alone! Just play for five more minutes! Oh! For Pete's Sake!" Until MissAngelLittleGirl shouted that Ella was using the dresser for a stage and I ran, naked and dripping wet down the hallway, much to the delight of the dog, who thought we were now playing a game. For some reason, towels never unfold fast enough when there's a dancing emergency, and it took me all of thirty seconds to get myself covered decently enough to begin negotiations with the child that was doing an exuberant jig on top of the top of the highest chest of drawers in their room.

They saw that I had moved the furniture, and if I could do it, they could, too!

This is never good. The entire room was rearranged so that it created a reasonably slanted hill/slide of furniture, and all the bedding and most of their (clean) clothes had been mounded at the bottom. So yeah, they were climbing the furniture than sliding down it into the pile of clothes.

Little Miss actually had the nerve to complain that their slide was bumpy.

The baby intensified her dancing, squealing at the thought of my discomfort, and the subsequent snatch and cuddle scenario that was about to occur predictably. We've done this before, you know.

No children were harmed in the writing of this blog. I'm still laughing too hard to be mad- I just want to know what you do with your children while you get cleaned up? Do you just give in to the filth? Bathe after they are in bed? Get up before the chickens? Tie them to a ceiling in a cage box like the go go dancers used to perform in?


The Gandys!!!! said...

I guess I have been blessed by my children. I have never had a problem putting them to bed (pack and plays when they fit) or putting in a movie and then just leaving them and showering. Of ourse acob is 4 and Chloe only 7 months, so they haven't gotten to the age of fighting or anything crazy like flying! :) The dog though I do agree is one of the children,and sometimes the hubby to! (He is actually the leader sometimes...) Nap time is good, early early in the morning and if hubby is really nice sometimes when he gets home from work..(Mine has come home and said~ GO SHOWER! :)-never a good sign!) Good luck with bathing... Hope you get a good shower in soon! :)

Suze said...

If I was a gambler I will totally put my money on the little one in my house even though brother is a foot taller and at least 15 pounds bigger. . . About the shower, I usually do it after the kids go to bed because that's pretty much the only time I can do it. Usually I found brother on top of the dresser asleep or in one the drawers after I put him to bed

Ps. that is going to put a smile in my face all day so thanks for the laugh :)

XLMIC said...

Hilarious! I don't shower unless my husband is home. Or the kids are asleep. Too dangerous to leave them to their own devices ;-)

Diane and Chad said...

I taught school when the boys were little, so I was the first one up, shower and all other tasks(no cleaning up ever!) then I got the kids up:)

Hannah said...

Well, I only have one 14 month old right now, and I usually wait til she's napping, which still means I look like wreck the first half of the day. I have no clue how I'll be able to do it with 3 kids when that time comes!! Love reading your blog:) Follow me?

Katrina @ They All Call Me Mom said...

I have a pretty big shower -- I usually just bring them all into the shower with me! LOL I'm not very modest, and you know what? I can get clean and get them clean and keep my eyes on them ALL at the same time!

I saw your link on the Not So Moody Monday blog hop. I’m your newest follower! Hope you have an amazing week! Happy showering:)

slummy mummy said...

I usually shower when the baby is napping and my big boy is at school b/c I go to the gym while he's there :) When he's home and she's napping he inevitably comes into the bathroom, gets naked and either plays in the spray from the shower or jumps out on me from behind the shower curtain yelling "boo" and cracking himself up. The only time I ever shower in peace is when the hubs is home. Am NOT looking forward to the time she is big enough to cause havoc with him. I suspect I will just stink and look all disheveled when that time comes :D

Anonymous said...

I have boys so legos can buy me a shower...or pick a movie...make it a special treat that they only get to watch a movie/show while mommy cleans up (this CAN mean the house too!!)...when all else fails...bribery! Surely there's a tasty treat that would ordinarily make your skin crawl to give them...mine will sit like angels while I shower for a cookie or doughtnut if I promise it as a reward for "letting mommy shower & rinse ALL the soap off before they start fighting"