Working has its pitfalls...

I'm tired.

Picking up an extra shift this week seemed nothing short of a dream going into the holidays. And it was busy. The kind of busy that inspires dreams/nightmares depending on the day... both days I got there early and both days required early clocking in. My section was full immediately and stayed that way till way past dinner.

 Like I said, heaven or hell depending on the day.

 Both last night and this morning, I'm paying the price in toddler beatings. The tiny one will not let me out of her sight for eight seconds, and that includes bathroom and/or sleep time, and the middle one has implanted herself so thoroughly on my lap that I'm typing this one handed at points. Should I choose to extract myself from the mass of limbs, and say, get a cup of coffee, I'll endure screams of anger and frustration, and then the thundering of *tiny* feet chasing me through the house. That's okay, this coffee sucks anyway.

One night to go...different grandparents watching the little monsters. I wish them all the luck in the world. Right now, I'm going to attempt to clean up the kitchen from last night's midnight soup supper while two children ride my feet like horses.

 Why my legs aren't thinner, I'll never know.

How to Swagbuck and not lose your mind...

I've tossed aside my idea of completely funding Christmas via Swagbucks. It just takes more time than I've got. Not only do you have to aggressively complete surveys and special offers, but you have to keep track of each and every one, and make sure they pay. This only happens on its own, once every three or four tasks.

And when they don't pay? You begin the harrowing task of arguing with a computer for your points. WAY not cool. When it takes me four hours and nine conversations to earn twenty cents, I'm wasting my time.

However, the search engine IS worth the trouble. I earned fifteen dollars in gift cards last month just using the search engine instead of any other search engine, and will continue to do that and watch for codes. It may not fund Christmas completely, but every penny is a penny I didn't have to wait on tables for. (even though I do love that).

Sometimes, time really is money. Or in this case...washed dishes, clean floors, and snuggled babies. Yeah, I'll take the easy road here.

I want to die young, I think

I hosted tonight.

 That in itself is a worthy story, but not what's on my mind right now. There was a table of three, a couple with a nurse, a man who wielded his cane awkwardly, walking with extreme effort and pain. His wife walked slowly behind as the nurse led him to his seat, and we joked a bit. They were so nice, so funny.

They enjoyed a leisurely meal, and I could hear them laughing over the top of the salad bar.

He needed to use the restroom before he left, and the nurse informed me she'd be going with him, so I checked the men's room and gave them the all clear. It took ages, and the wife stood at the door waiting.

 I tried not to notice as she brushed the tears away as she watched her husband struggle to walk the thirty feet from bathroom to exit, but eventually I handed her a napkin, because it was clear that her hands couldn't keep up.

 She lost control and ducked out. I don't want to do that.

 I don't want my kids to see me old, I want them to know me now. I want them to remember that mommy was a great book reader, and a great shopper, and gave killer pony rides. I want to die being able to eat cheeseburgers and ice cream and steak, unblemished by the hands of time, unconcerned by the evils of cholesterol or heart failure.


And I don't want to be the wife at the door.

How selfish am I?